Bringing the Crazy

This week human news followers learned that the firebrand from Oxley, Pauline Hanson, was quitting the "no longer applicable" land of opportunity for the UK. See ya later. Despite her best efforts, Australia hadn't become a cowering, frightened and confused country. But she was the first of the political crazies - if you put to one side the Joh for PM debacle - to make a run for Canberra. It's a strange loop; from Oxley, to Canberra, to jail and then to Dancing with the Stars. It's worth remembering just how hard Pauline brought the crazy once people started waving placards at her back in about 1997:



Wow. I guess that's what happens when delusions of granduer meet cracked out paranoia. Maybe it wasn't Oldfield and Etheridge that were advising her, but Admiral Akbar.



Nice space ship. That might explain where all that electoral commission money got to.

Here at the Human News Network, we're concerned for Pauline Hanson. Where is she going to stay when she lobs up to Old Blighty? Speaking from experience, it's very handy to have a couch to crash on while you sort your digs out - otherwise it's the hostel. We're thinking Germaine Greer might kindly put her hand up to let Pauline stay for a few weeks. They've got a bit in common: fiery expats, bizarre outbursts and a strange delusion that people are still listening to them.

Of course at the last state election she pitched up in Beaudesert looking for another stay in a state funded institution (parliament house, this time) but her crazy got diluted by Warrick Capper, who "ya know...grew up round the area." I guess he just backed himself. To his credit, he actually had a couple of ideas that were no less pathetic than the main stream candidates - pub lock outs, etc - but...he's Warrick Capper.



In case you missed it, here's the first comment on that video. Just brilliant.

"I thought this was an awesome song when it first came out. I wanted to give my first and only girlfriend a special birthday present so I took some singing lessons and learned this song. Then at her family's birthday outting at the rocks I sung this to her in front of everyone. She dropped me later on that night. Thanks for nothing Mr Cappa your not an example we should follow I know that now."

But our favourite political crazy has got to be Andrew Quah. A self described "maverick bonsai artist" and disendorsed Family First candidate for the 2007 federal election. We all know Steve Fielding is a joke. These are the kinds of clowns he's got lining up behind him. Quah ran into trouble when photos appeared on the Internet of the candidate exposing himself. Protesting with "that's not my penis!" did little to assuage Family First top brass (all one or two of them) who swiftly removed him from the ticket. Nice one. Probably going to want to have a look at preselection procedures there, Steve, when you're done with the rolling vaudeville comedy.

Crikey informs me that to be preselected as a candidate, it's a simple online job. Just upload your CV, and when Steve Fielding is done filibustering in the Senate or deciding global warming isn't real (we still have not received any convincing evidence for Steve Fielding, either) he will probably give you a call. Crikey did a more thorough job vetting Quah. His personal website, 'The Quah Report - A Download of my Mind' (now shut down) revealed the following. He was a devout "conservative atheist" - whatever that means - and "caused much controversy in the elite Bonsai community for his unorthodox philosophies of bonsai care and maintenance, one prominent bonsai artist publicly derided his work as 'a bad take-away trying to compete against a five star restaurant.'"

Speaking of bonsai care and maintenance and public derision...if you're feeling brave you can see Quah in all his glory off the Daily Telegraph Website.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/sex-scandal-rocks-family-first/story-e6freuy9-1111114747858

How did Quah account for this bizarre expose? He told the news media at the time that, “I might have been drunk off my face or my political enemies might have drugged me.” How good would that be if it were actually true? The West Wing, meets Shakespeare meets Laguna Beach.

If Quah's story had a touch of Shakespearian tragedy about it, Democratic 2008 Presidential Candidate Mike Gravel from Alaska went for a more Beckettian density in his online advertisment. This is just weird.



Thanks for reading. See you later.